I think schools are putting a lot of stress on children by cutting short the holidays. It is very strenuous on the children to have their next year classes before the vacation. Some schools also give holiday homework at the end of these summer classes. Children are not able to spend their vacation happily, and do not even have time to spend with their family members. If a child has to attend classes during the summer vacations, he will simply start hating the idea of attending regular classes later, once the short summer vacation ends. Actually, vacations are meant for the children to relax and refresh themselves. Schools start issuing books early, to make their job easier and faster. Children should get at least 50 days to re-energize themselves and get back to studies. Instead, not only are holidays shorter but parents start pestering their children to start studying in this period. When will children get to play? Personally, I do not like this system where a bit of vacation is followed by school intruding into it, and then there is vacation again. We are inconvenienced and cannot make concrete holiday plans, especially when there are two children, and each is in a different class. When one child has leave, the other has school and vice-versa. This makes it hard for the siblings as well. I wish the schools would go back to the old way of having a solid two-month summer vacation. This would give us enough quality time with our children, and help them prepare for the next school year. This new system seems rushed, confusing, and stressful to children and parents alike. I hate it. This is the only time when children get to use their time with abandon and in an unstructured way. Their creativity gets a boost with doing things on their own. The whole academic year is loaded with school, home work and other extra activities which are time-bound and structured. Summer vacations should be of long durations of at least one-and-a-half months. Let me confess - I'm quite glad when school reopens. The earlier, the better! In a way, it's good for the children and their teachers also. They can complete the lessons in a more relaxed manner. Shorter vacations are far better than having to work on Saturdays, to get the requisite number of working days. I hate it! I prefer a long one-and-a-half month holiday. It gives you enough time for a short vacation, a fortnight of summer camp and then freewheeling time to be spontaneous. Long vacations also help when you are planning overseas trips. You get enough time for sight-seeing and visiting friends and relatives.

Hi... look for what interests the child and start from there, allow children to take breaks in between study time. Whatever learning styles fits them best encourage them to practice and develop their own style of learning. Let the child know and understand that your focus is on his/her learning and not the end results or marks. Just make the study time enjoyable for the learner and also the mentor. My child sits down to study just a day ahead of a major exam. But the positive side of studying in a CBSE school is that the Board follows the CCE system, which ensures continuous and comprehensive evaluation. This means that the child has to study throughout the year as his performance is assessed at regular intervals. All my son needs to do is just revise his subject the day before the exam. So far, it has worked out well for my son and I am happy with his progress. How do you know if your child is preparing for exams? Sitting with an open book for hours doesn't mean he is preparing for tests; even poring through books doesn’t mean that he must be studying. I think it all depends on how regular or sincere your child is when it comes to his studies. I believe that paying 100% attention in class is the best preparation for any exam. If the child pays enough attention from the beginning of a term, then a revision before the exams will suffice. Parents should help their child form regular study habits so that exam time does not become stressful. I believe that exams test how much a student has managed to learn during the present academic year, and whether he retains what he studied in his earlier years. Hence, studying is a habit just like exercising, praying, singing or dancing. It is important for a child to study and practise for exams as they help him perfect his skills. The time to help prepare a child for exams is in the lower classes, till say class 7. Teach them the tips to study smarter, and show them how to plan a schedule as per their timetable. Most children would have imbibed these habits by the time they reach the higher classes. At that stage, one does not have to do much as a parent, except monitor, guide and see that they get adequate rest and nutrition during exams. They do become quite independent by the time they are in class 8 or 9, and like to follow their own pattern of studying and relaxing. My daughter, who’s in Class 7, is clueless about exams. On seeing her friend's brother cramming just before exams, she asked “If this will help you 'pass' exams, why go to school on other days? And, if one went to school to learn something well, why cram just before exams?” We are quite happy that she does not confuse serious learning with passing exams. A professor in Indian Institute of Management (Ahmedabad), Brij Kothari, did not 'pass' any exam in any school - he attended Aurobindo School in Puducherry, which has no exams. But he later went to Cornell University for a PhD. May his tribe swell! I am an engineering student and have cultivated the habit of preparing for exams on a very regular basis from a young age. In my experience, a child needs to know how to prepare for exams and predict questions, and also learn what is important and what is not. These are the kind of inputs parents should provide. Once this is established in the child by class 7, life becomes easy during Board and competitive exams. My son Adithya is now in his twenties and well-settled. As a high school student, when he was preparing for his exams, I felt a bit guilty that we were pushing him beyond his limits. Yes, it has paid dividends. However, if we had left it to him, he may have recognized his true calibre and written his exams in a much better way.

I feel that for students up to class 10, mobile phones are not necessary. Some of them bring their gadgets to school as they think it is ‘cool’. But, I think students in classes 11 and 12 need mobile phones for safety reasons; they need to assure their parents that they are attending a French or dance class; or inform their parents that they will be coming home late because of traffic or simply because a class got delayed. Students in higher classes will be sensible – they know when they are using a cell phone because it is necessary, and when they are using it merely to amuse themselves. In my school, they have totally banned cell phones. Initially, we were allowed to deposit them with our teachers and could collect them after school. But now, cell phone ban is applicable even to students in classes 11 and 12. I think it is a fantastic move; these gadgets distract us and we are not able to concentrate on our studies. Anyways, you are going to sit in front of the computer once you are back; then why carry it to school? There are so many other activities in school itself that there is really no use for a gadget! I think this is a very good move. There is a lot of disparity in our society – some children may be able to afford expensive gadgets while others cannot. But, looking at their classmates carrying expensive mobiles, a child may want a fancy phone and pester their parents for one. Again, gadgets are a distraction in a place like school, which is purely for learning. As far as security issues are concerned, gadgets like mobile phones are not the solutions. A child needs a mobile phone only during an emergency or while commuting; but there’s a solution for this too. For emergencies at school, a helpline can be set up by the school, leaving a member of the school staff in charge of it. As far as transport is concerned, the school management should frame more stringent rules for choosing transport operators. I think it is a good move as we will be able to concentrate on sports and other extracurricular activities at school. Mobile phones are a huge distraction, and many of us are obsessed with it. If we are not allowed to bring cell phones to school, we will have the freedom to do things that we usually miss out on. I think children, as long as they are in junior school, really do not need cell phones. If there is any emergency, the parents can always contact the school. After school, children mostly return home straight. So a cell phone is unnecessary. If cell phones are used by children in classes 9 and 10 after school hours, it makes sense. They attend tuitions and extra classes, and so they need cell phones to inform their parents of their whereabouts. If your child is using non-school transport facilities like public transport, cell phones are a must. Today’s children are very smart, and I am sure that they know how and when to use gadgets like mobile phones. Higher secondary school students attend tuitions and other classes after school hours, and so it will be very difficult for the parents to track their children if they are not given cell phones. I feel that a guided and responsible usage of these gadgets is harmless. I believe that mobile phones are a serious distraction in the classroom. Children are anyway addicted to gadgets, and spend much of their time with them. In school, at least, they should be spending time sharpening their intellect. I feel that gadgets interfere with learning at school. Many children do not look beyond computers these days; they do not realize that we had a life even before mobile phones. They do not know how to communicate with other children; they do not even know what to write on birthday cards. But I think using mobile phones after school hours is fine.

Like every other phase that a child passes by, Barbie craze is also simply a phase. I see no harm in a child playing with Barbie. My daughter had few dolls and has grown out of them over the last 6 months. We have all grown up playing with dolls – dressing them up, getting them married, caring for them and so on. It’s a good thing to have a 'doll friend' but I definitely don't like the idea of Barbie dolls. They glorify a certain body type that's totally impractical and unnatural. There is every chance that the girls who play intensively with Barbie dolls would want to look like one. Little girls don't need to know the anatomical details of a woman. The way Barbie is marketed ... there's too much emphasis on clothes, shoes, make-up and hairstyles. Again, original Barbie dolls and their accessories are too expensive. The whole concept reeks of commercialism and I don't want my child to be trapped in it. I continue to remain firm with my daughter, who's been pestering me for a Barbie doll, by offering her other options. I'm also praying that no one gifts her one! Barbie dolls don’t seem to have any educational value. Children seem to get carried away by the belief that beauty is what is personified by Barbie. That may affect their behaviour. Barbie dolls are designed in a way that they can’t stand on their feet. They will topple. That’s a strong message to pass on to little girls! I think parents are over-reacting on these issues. Children should be allowed to enjoy playing with their dolls. I never got my daughter Isha a Barbie doll till she was about 4 years old. I guess she started visiting her friends’ place and saw the dolls there. She also got a few for her birthdays. But personally speaking, there’s no big harm in letting children play with Barbie. Just ensure that they don’t get obsessed with it. The Barbie phenomenon is definitely a rage among small girls between the ages of 3 and 8. My daughter passed through that phase and came out very gracefully. I let her indulge in Barbie books and films. She was not too keen on the dolls because she did not find them cute. But I should add that Barbie books and films, especially the films like Barbie as the Island Princess and Barbie and the 12 Dancing Princesses, have excellent messages to convey. I think we should allow our children to go through all these phases and enjoy the romance in them. I think we are over-analyzing such issues these days. I heard of a theory that watching Tom and Jerry cartoons will turn children into violent adults later in life. I grew up watching Tom and Jerry, and it’s been days since I hit anybody with an anvil. So this theory can’t be true!

A single board of education across the country seems ideal. But, our country is very diverse, and the exposure of students from rural and urban areas is very different. Rural students, many of whom are first-generation learners, may not be able to cope with a rigorous syllabus. One the other hand, middle and upper-class urban kids have exposure to computers and their knowledge levels are high. With educated parents, they can handle higher standards. I think based on the social and cultural milieu, the current syllabus of all boards should be tweaked. For example, spoken English can be limited to village schools. It is probably not needed in an urban setup. I am a naval officer’s wife and have stuck to CBSE. Just once, my daughter was in the primary section of a state board school. This created confusion on our next transfer and so I ensured that the children attended CBSE schools. I strongly feel that there should be one board of education as it would enable a uniform assessment of performance. Languages can be optional, and History can be uniform with additional chapters on the region. India should have a single board of education. Each state can have English and Hindi in common along with the child’s mother tongue, or 3-4 options for a third language. Children should attend a school in their locality. Teaching and curriculum should be planned in a way that private tuitions become unnecessary. Experiential learning should be maximized. School education should be based on the 10 + 2 model with activities like sports and culture given importance on par with academics for a child’s holistic development. This will benefit the child and also our country. In a diverse country like India, the need of the hour is more locally-suitable curricula rather than a single standardized one. Else, we will end up asking questions about trains to children in the Andamans (it was done a couple of years ago and created much furor) and questions involving sea tides to children in Arunachal Pradesh. If a single ‘board’ can achieve this much-needed diversity, so be it. Maybe, it can impart a certain uniformity of standard across many syllabuses. However, the focus should be on: 1. creating separate apex bodies for learning and assessing to prevent biases, and 2. creating curricula with strong local content to correctly measure understanding in terms of local idioms. Whether it is achieved through a single board or through many boards in the same state (like in Maharashtra) is somewhat irrelevant. A single board of education, imparting education to all schools through a highly researched and evolved curriculum, is a great idea. This can be one of the binding factors in terms of creating national opinion and one nation with a literate population with the means to acquire knowledge and information without any discrimination on the basis of class or the board of education. A single board of education is not possible and the state government will not let this happen. Each state will give preference to its mother language. Also, if a single board of education is formed, it will lose its competitive edge.

CCTVs can be installed in schools provided the one who is monitoring the cameras is the security person in charge, and not the school management. CCTV cameras should be installed for the child’s safety only in those areas in schools where the public access is allowed. This can be near the entry/exit gates, or wherever crowds of adults are waiting to pick up their children. Children below eight years, leaving the school gates alone without an adult or an older child, should be monitored. Even if they have to board a private van outside, the school should insist on the van/autorickshaw operator accompanying the child till she has safely boarded the vehicle. CCTV cameras can also be installed in open grounds/auditorium when the school is holding an exhibition or a charity show, where outsiders form the audience and where cash is being collected. It can be installed in lonely spots in schools where there is no security personnel doing the rounds and not to spy on kids We were brought up to believe ommachi kanna kuthum (God will hurt our eyes) if we did any mischief. So we were scared to commit even petty ‘crimes’. But today's children do not see the world and God in the same way. While I do feel that the concept of God is not something to be scared of, it does help, especially in the formative years. Earlier, when a child committed a mistake, the mother would take him to the pooja room where he promised to be good before God. If you do not have the time to instil such values in children, the next best option is to monitor their doings via CCTV. What happens to trust? Why should children always be monitored? This is not about privacy; this is about losing the basic tenets of education. Education should create an ambience of trust, values, and discipline. Where is the freedom for children to think and make their own decisions? Why should they not make mistakes? Learning takes place through mistakes. By the way, it will be a matter of seconds before perpetrators discover the blind spots in the coverage. Where a majority of schools still lack major infrastructure, CCTV is not an available option. Such schools will try and make do by being strict or by having student or teacher monitors. Perpetrators do not commit their crimes in public - so inculcating sensitivity amongst teachers or students to notice unusual behaviour will be a good idea. Ultimately, the CCTV protects the students because it also tracks the teachers. During disputes, the children are not believed; so the teachers have an advantage over the students. The CCTV evens the playing field. We have picked up instances of child abuse, Thanks to the CCTV.

Hi... for eg if you want your child to read/study on the topic water cycle, you tell a story, show her a video/pictures, ask her draw etc on this topic, bring in activities which your child will enjoy doing and then reinforce her to read.here reading becomes secondary task and now it is interesting and also involves less effort from her to read something which she is aware about. Other person reading aloud for the child and then asking the child to read will also help eliminate the fear of unknown. This am sharing from my personal experience. i started reading to my daughter from she was 5 months old , I have spent almost 7 yrs reading every day to her minimum of 30 minute before she goes to sleep and she is now a motivated and inspired reader of books. We need to read along with them , make them understand what they may not understand , this increases their memory , association skills, concentration , vocabulary and develops focus . We need to dedicate that time, in fact today i don't spend too much time reading to her , but she recommends books and articles to me and in fact reads to me herself , she is going to be 10 Children nowadays cannot be judged easily. They learn everything by their personal experience in day to day life. They should not be stressed with their studies. In the mean time, you can spend time with your child which is very more important than him / her being with her books. Children ask thousands of questions which if we listen and answer properly makes not only the child but even us update our knowledge. Only practical knowledge will make your child come successful in the future.

There is almost a two-year gap between my son and my daughter. When they fight, I let them solve the problem amicably. If they want to watch TV at the same time, I tell them to take turns. While my son is watching TV, I take my daughter inside and start reading a story. After a while, he gets bored of watching TV and starts listening to the story. This way, I divert their minds and both are happy. We treat both our children equally. For example, if we are enacting a story, I ask both of them to play a role each, and if they both want to play the same character, we enact the play twice. I started preparing my older son when I was pregnant with the second one. I used to take him with me during the scans, and showed him his baby brother growing inside me. I also allowed him to ask questions to the doctor. I even got him a book which taught him how a big brother should behave. Even then, he was a little hesitant in the beginning. But soon, he started accepting the little one as he could play cricket with him! I give my older son as much importance as I give the younger one. For example, when we are looking at some old photographs, I tell him how he was as a child and how special he is to me. The older one still gets a little possessive about me at times, but that is only for a short time. They have even learnt to settle their fights on their own now. Make sure you treat your children as equals. Tell them why you sometimes prioritize one child’s need over the other; usually, children buy a good reason. Suppose one child wants me to help her put on her clothes, while the other needs my help in switching on the Pogo channel. I tell them I have to help the child dress up first because that is a more urgent need than watching something on TV. Also, enlist your older child’s help when doing things for the younger one. My daughter loves it when I ask her to get my son his towel and his clothes after I give him a bath. That way, she feels important as she is helping me take care of him. Similarly, when I ask my son to get my daughter her crayons, he does it willingly. I think ‘sibling rivalry’ is an idea adults plant in the minds of the little ones. I have a son and a daughter, and this is how I manage them: • I never compare my children. They are two different individuals with different personalities, and beautiful in their own ways. • If they fight, they have to resolve the problem themselves. • There is no place for hate. ‘We can win the world with love!’ – this is the message we reinforce to our children. • Most importantly, we do not discuss their fights with neighbours or relatives and add fuel to the fire. Of course, our children fight, irritate and become mad at each other. But if an outsider intervenes and tries to harm them in any way, they stand up for each other. After all, siblings are the best of buddies! If parents and relatives prepare the older child for the arrival of the younger one and explain to him how he will be a big brother, sibling rivalry will not be much of a problem. Parents should insist that siblings learn to share things with each other to prevent quarrels, now and in the future.

Internet addiction is simply over and idle usage of Internet. I don’t know any medical test to know about this addiction. But I found this on a website, internet addiction form. Fill this up and get to know about your addiction.Check http://www.netgenie.net/internetaddictionmeter.html

Most of the schools respond to the querys of parents and give their explanations.The schools also want the parents to cooperate with them.When the child is in K.G.classes,the parents show lot of interest to know about their child's progress but once the child reaches primary and higher classes they never bother to attend the parents meeting in spite of the repeated reminders from the class teachers.They will come and pay the fees in the beginning of the academic year and vanish.They forget to sign even the diary of their child daily,but when the student reaches 10th std,they come for a fat total.Both the teacher and the parent play equal role in the allround development of the student. Sometimes the parent expects the teacher is responsible for everything since she is paid the salary from the fees the parent pays.I feel thet both are responsible for the growth of the student so there should be mutual response. I think most mainstream schools are extremely insensitive to the needs of students and parents. Their goal is to achieve great results in the Board exams. They do not care about the holistic development and emotional needs of the child. Parents are cowed down by autocratic heads of schools, and are terrified to approach them on any issue concerning their child. Schools have become mass producers of high-scoring sheep. What response can one expect from them on what really matters? It depends on what the complaint is all about. For example, some parents will want the school to give their children less homework, while others want more homework for their children. In such cases, it is very difficult for the school management to take a stand. In my case, it was not a complaint but a suggestion. My son is not a very social person, though I want him to be one. I expressed my concern to the school. They did not do anything about it. I understand that it is not easy to give personal attention when there are hundreds of children. But I still feel that his school ought to help him. My daughter is in Class 3. She would bring her lunch home intact, every day. I complained to her class teacher and from then on, she ensures that my daughter does not skip her lunch anymore. So, I think that some schools do listen to parents’ complaints and take action. My daughter is in LKG and my area of concern is the attitude of the helpers or the ‘aayahs’. My child and I feel that they are very rude. I have not yet complained about this to the school as I really do not know if this issue will even be considered by her school. As a person who runs an institute, I try to ensure that all the complaints and suggestions are looked into. There are some things a parent will notice, that we may routinely miss. So taking suggestions from them is not a bad idea. We cannot follow- up on all the suggestions. But we justify to them the reasons when some suggestions are not pursued. Even then, while some parents understand this and cooperate with us, there are others who don't. Big schools, on the other hand, are used to doing things in a particular way, and they take a long time to change rules. As parents, we have repeatedly suggested bringing about certain changes in my children's school, to no avail. In general, schools are more receptive to parents who are well-connected or well-to-do. Their complaints are taken far more seriously than complaints from the less well-do to-do parents. Well-connected parents can use their power and wealth to damage the school’s reputation by writing or talking about it in public. On a personal note, my son who was in Class 1, got hit for not reciting a nursery rhyme and I complained to the principal. But no action was taken and so I changed the school. A few schools, though, do take complaints of parents seriously, regardless of network or networth. However we still have a long way to go before schools can put together a system of receiving and handling complaints from parents in an organized manner so as to reassure parents that their children are in a safe environment and that their complaints are being taken seriously and worked upon.

There are several parental control softwares you can download from the internet and use. For that I guess retrieving browsing data is not possible, you need a reporting tool. I have deployed NetGenie at my place, which gives online reports of my kids.

Some schools give a list of preferred vendors from whom to source uniform accessories. For instance, they allow parents to buy shoes from Nike or Bata. These shoes vary in design and children in the same class wear different shoes. Not only does this disrupt the uniformity, the children wearing Bata shoes ask their parents to get them Nike shoes instead! It is better that the school removes such choices and insists on one brand. It should insist on uniformity of design so that children do not observe differences in styling. Wearing bangles and sporting streaked hair may not be the right thing when children are growing up. To ensure equality among children, schools should have a uniform as schools are about imparting socially accepted values among children rather than developing a sense of fashion in them. Till the age of 15, a strict dress code is important. Children can also be taught to wear neatly pressed clothes, keep their hair well cut, trim their nails, and wear their school badge. These will instil a great sense of pride in them. At college level, dress codes need not be mandatory. But at school level, a dress code is necessary. One of the reasons for having uniforms is to instil discipline and treat each student equally, irrespective of their financial background. Giving freedom to dress up will highlight the disparity as the attire will start drawing attention to a student’s financial background. To avoid this and to let the children concentrate on learning, a uniform code remains indispensable. And with RTE coming into play, it is better that all students dress similarly. Today’s children, who are as young as three years old, are able to take decisions on their own, right from their dress to their hairstyle. Allowing this small freedom gives them a lot of satisfaction. When we allow them to do what they want to do, they will get bored of dressing up and concentrate on school activities. Schooldays are when we wear a uniform with pride as a mark of belonging to a particular school. Dress code came into practice to emphasize the equality of all students, irrespective of their socio-economic status. It helps when the teacher or co-students are not prejudiced against any student on the basis of his status. School is for learning and that can take place only when the student senses fair treatment from all. Hence, I feel that too much attention paid to dress disrupts learning. Students should stick to the bare essentials that promise convenience, comfort and safety to them. It is important to enforce school uniforms to maintain discipline and a certain level of decorum in schools. However, I feel that certain things related to our culture should be allowed moderately. The reason for this being that our children will be able to remain in touch with our cultural values. For example, girls should be allowed to wear tiny studs and tiny bindis as long as they are not too flashy. However, things like streaked hair, unruly hairstyles, dangling earrings and bracelets should be avoided as they spoil the look and also could interfere with certain activities at school.

Befriend your child on facebook and keep a discreet watch. Gently broach sensitive issue like pictures they shouldnt be posting or unsavoury comments; Dont do too much policing and use this as a great opportunity to teach your kids about social skills & etiquette, in a generalized manner without being personal. Hi....., I agree to your observation, the content on such social networking sites mostly cater to youth between 13-30.

Exactly this is an universal worry I guess. To deal with this fear, have a strong communication relationship with your kid. It will help him to restrain from such sites. Even if he/she accidently land on it, the kid should realize it is dangerous. Top of it you need excellent parental controls to protect your kid in your absence. well according to me a frank communication with your kid always helps. You and your kid can share your Internet experiences more often, this will help you to know any danger signals if they are landing in some trouble.

I have heard about this concept many times and even from my close ones too.I am very soon gonna take this for my son who is gonna be 2.5 yrs old. This is a gift to every parent like us to bring up the child,s talent and abilities with their Intelligences.I will keep an update on this soon

A few hours a day will certainly help a child and the mother. But one needs to be very careful in choosing the day care. As parents, we need to look out for a positive environment where children are always engaged in intelligent conversations and constructive activities. Children learn best in a peer group and a day care will certainly help them get more independent, develop social skills and get ready for schooling. So look for a day care that has the following: 1. experienced, trained and qualified instructors to handle the personal needs of your child 2. a positive environment that helps your child to learn. play and grow 3.a place that builds social-emotional skills, motor skills, and intellectual skills 4.a place that encourages children to ask questions and be curious about the world A daycare may be a better option than that maid at home, but I do not agree that it teaches children independence, makes them more social, makes them learn etc etc. Children do that very briefly, perhaps out of compulsion or fear and lapse into normalcy after age 4, once they leave the centre. That has been my experience. Children do miss their mother, particularly if they are there for more than three hours. Unlike adults they don’t know how to express it and it just goes into their subconscious, with unpredictable outcomes later. Child development authorities vouch for this. Daycare people just take care of your children, much like a doctor takes care of a patient. They do not love them, which only you can. Children can learn from any habitat, even from minimal facilities at home, and they do so spontaneously. They don’t need to learn the 2nd standard equivalent syllabus at age 3. One can always learn that later. They learn better and thrive if they are loved, instead of only being fed and taught and regimented. Being in daycare helps the child interact with children their own age and also to be independent. They learn to eat by themselves and get over separation anxiety once they go to school. I am not in favour of day care centres bringing up a child while the parent works. I am qualifying it with a time span of two hours or a maximum of three for kids above 3 who have learnt to communicate. The young mom also gets some ‘ me’ time and it helps her manage the child better instead of being overwhelmed or stressed. I have two sons, my first one went to full time day care in the US from the time he was 10 months old till he was 3 years. I knew he was well cared for. After my second one was born we returned to India. I could not find any day care where I could confidently leave him for more than a couple of hours. I did not send him anywhere till he was 2 and half. I feel the quality of the day care centres are a deterrent, though I won’t make a case for all the centres in the US. I was just lucky the first time around. Ideally parents are the best people to look after their children until they slowly start getting into a pre-school/ school routine. For instance, I was with both my children till they started school. I took off from work for almost seven years and do not regret it one bit! When it becomes a dire necessity, then day-care is an option. In India, day-care facilities are actually crèches. Ideally, the day-care should come close to early school with a focus on learning and an all-round development of the child. They could be emotionally deprived. But parents have their own lives too, and there could be emergencies wherein the child has to be put in a day care centre. Maybe the child could be there for a brief period of time, like two hours.

Well, according to the Facebook official standards, kids from 13 years can have an account. But there are no appropriate measures to verify the age of each user,consequently kids fake their age on facebook profiles. From age 16, the kid can safely use facebook. Well just for reference, there is one page on facebook, www.facebook.com/Internetparenting it helps for smart tips on internet for parents. Right age for a child to start using Facebook would be 14 years. Even then, they would not be that mature but you cannot stop them from using Facebook when their friends are using it. You have to give them the freedom and space they need. What you can do as a parent is encourage them to take up sports or any other activity from a young age. The child will then not be tempted to use the computer, let alone log on to Facebook. Mother of a 14-year-old In my opinion, the minimum age limit should be 21. Facebook is a tool which helps people connect with each other. Most of the times, friends separate after leaving college. They go to work and then, lose contact with each other. After some time, you even forget them. This is where Facebook really helps. It helps locate old friends after a long gap and you can now catch up with them. Till the age of 21, children don’t need Facebook. Father of a 12-year-old As the mother of a nine-year-old daughter, I created a Facebook account for her and she has been able to connect with all her friends and some of mine, too! I share good posts with her and I always remember to ask her later if she has read them. Yes, there are risks. For example, she may tend to flip pages and chance upon inappropriate information. But, I think progress has a flip side to it. We need to accept that. I think the right age for a child to start using Facebook would be 10 years as children today are quite smart and intelligent. They are well aware of everything around them and can handle any situation. However, the computer should be in a common place so that the parents can keep an eye on their child. This is just to be sure that their child is safe. Children can start using Facebook when they can distinguish between what is right and what is wrong, and when they can fairly understand their responsibilities and the value of quality life. It is the parents’ responsibility to ensure that values are taught from the time the children are young. Children above 15 years of age know what is good and what is bad. They will be able to sense the motives of others. Any person can influence a child by talking softly to him. This is dangerous and one can keep talking about it at length. There are exceptions though where even children below 15 years are quite intelligent and prudent. But, I think 15 years is the right age to start using Facebook. father of two children Facebook is becoming an increasingly powerful medium. Anything powerful can be both used and misused. If we feel our children have a reasonably discerning mind, an open channel of communication with us the parents, we can allow them to have Facebook accounts. The point is that whether we 'allow' or not they are going to have one. Our kids are digital generation kids. They know a lot more than us about existing and surrviving in the digital world which includes hiding from us on that medium if they choose so. Facebook has become a vogue and is inevitable in our society.Regardless of the age it sneaks in eveyone's mind and kids get engrossed in facebook culture.Most of the parent are not aware that their kids have account in it.Parents should unhook themselves emotionally and try to explain the pros and cons of it. My opinion is that until they complete their studies they have to cut back on computer activities like this.We should be a laid back parent once we feel that they can handle things on their own and manage time.Appreciate their judgement and encourage them to develop their independence.That can be incredibly satisfying and helps bonding and mutual trust.

I will explain to them that as parents, we have enough for their needs but not for their greed. If they persist, which is very rare, I usually ignore their pestering. As I am a working mother, I delay our shopping, pleading office work and household responsibilities. I tell her that she has to buy that object with her pocket money. I make it clear that if there is a deficit, I would not be able to help; I get only finite money in the office and have to clearly plan the household expenses. Most of the time, she changes her mind about a particular purchase. Mother of a 12-year-old My son tells me that only if I buy him something that he fancies, he would study. I then tell him to finish studying and that we would go together to buy whatever he wants. He could have more choices then. He usually agrees. After he is done with his studies, I do take him to a shop, but ensure that it is a shop where the particular object is not available. I then explain to him in a nice way to buy something else and I point out a more useful toy, which is educational in nature. I do this only when I think that what my son is asking for something not appropriate for his age. Father of a 5-year-old son My daughter recently pestered me for a mobile phone as most of them in her class had one. I just explained to her that if I buy her a cell phone, it was her responsibility to look after that safely and not lose it. That was enough to convince her to not buy one as she was scared she might lose it. I told her that if she wanted, she could use the landline as much as she wants. Mother of a 14-year-old daughter Divert their attention to something else that they can have immediately, and highlight its attractiveness. It works 95 percent of the time! Mother of 2 children You must never give in to the child’s pestering. You must allow the child to pester, until the child gets tired of pestering. Your child is bound to get tired of pestering you and will give up on what he wants. I do not feel it is right to hand over such expensive gifts to young children, which they tend to break in no time. Instead of directly and abruptly saying "No, I can't buy it!” we can try to convince them more patiently. We can say "The next time you get good marks, I'll buy you what you want" or we can explain how it will distract him during study time. Parent of a 10 year and a 5 year old The best way to handle pester power is to 'connect with the child first and correct later!' For instance, the beyblade pester can be addressed by sitting with the child and making a beyblade mask instead. You can also try distracting the child from the actual 'pester' by giving them something more interesting like a 'mock photo shoot' session with your mobile phone camera; get your child to click as many pictures as possible. Children like it when you spend some time with them out of your busy schedule. For them, LOVE = TIME. Spend more time doing simple, quality stuff with them and watch the MAGIC unveil. Depends upon the child, we can counsell them, certain chidren will throw tantrums and somehow they get it and others will accept what parents say and feel disapponited. These kids will become introverts by thinking that the parents are the obstacles for their fun and its of no use sparring with them.My opinion is kids should know the value of money.Once they get it its up to the parents to make them understand in a polite way that what they got did not come from the sky but it is out of Dad's hardworking money. If they lose it or break it they will feel guilty when they understand the value. we can counsell them that instead of buying beybaldes they can save it for future keyboards or skating kit or help them with a piggy bank to gain confidence. pester power!!! the best way to handle is 'connect with the kids first and correct later!' for instance the beyblade pester can be addressed by sitting with the child and making a beyblade mask instead... also distracting the children frm the actual 'pester' and giving them something more interesting helps! like a 'mock photshoot' session with your mobile fne camera..get ur child to click as many pictures as possible..kids spell LOVE = TIME. spend MORE time doing simple, quality stuff with them and watch the MAGIC unveil :-))))

If CCE is truly implemented the way it ought to be, then tuitions may take a back seat. But that is a big If. In some places up north, I am told that schools and tuition centres have started cooperating with each other. Schools have recognised/acknowledged specific tuition centres. As long as the child pays the school fees, he need not attend classes in school. The child can go straight to the tuition centre, (for which the parent again pays the fees), and learn for some three hours. Note that the number of hours spent in the tuition centre is much less than what is spent at school. The child can make the occasional appearance for the test or exam in school, for his assessment. This spares the child from wasting his time during the day in school and losing out the evenings by going to tuition. Thus, the child learns what is needed to be learnt, and during a sensible time of the day. Many parents welcome this, as they feel that their child is relieved of stress in the process! If the teaching in school is really not up to the mark and if the parents are unable to help the children, then probably tuitions are a good idea. But, the focus of any education system should be on learning. If tuitions are only meant for teaching the appropriate portions in a crammed manner, for the sake of scoring in an examination, it is serving only a limited purpose. Moreover, I feel that children have a lot to learn, apart from academics in their lives - academics are only a miniscule part of life. Already, children spend a majority of their time in school for academic learning. Sending them to tuitions to learn the very same lessons once again is a waste of time and energy. I have seen that children who have been encouraged to learn on their own through curiosity, experience and research grow into better individuals having lot of expertise, enthusiasm and efficiency in their work and home lives. I think interacting with the peer group at the tuition helps. I have two children and I have realised that after interactions with their peer group, they have improved a lot. Interaction is very important as it promotes exchange of information. This becomes an extra learning for the children and they become more knowledgeable. I feel that the standard of subjects is quite high-- so a good person to help out is always useful. For eg. my son goes for Maths tuition to` Sujatha Aunty'-- thanks to her, the phobia before the exam is not there! The competitive nature of studies and admissions and the non-availability of working parents to guide them at home as needed, has necessitated the concept of tuitions. Depends on the child.... Tuitions can add value only where the tutor-student ratio is 1:3 at the most, and for children who require that extra care to blossom, not for children who are already topping the class and whose parents want to push them harder! It is totally subjective. If the child needs special attention that the teachers in school are not able to provide, and if the parents also cannot teach, then tuitions may be necessary. It should not be at the 'tuition centres' which is just another class room having a 70 kids / batch.. Current day tuiton classes (especially the higher secondary ones) have become like parallel classrooms (mattu sandai). So unless the children are themselves motivated there is no guarantee that tuitions will succeed. However, tuitions focussing on the weak learning spots of the child are definitely welcome (rider: if the parents can afford the fees) Tutions are necessary only if the children find it hard to cope with the subject content. Otherwise, a disciplined self-study should be enough. It is necessary in higher classes especially in subjects like Maths, where regular practice is essential to master a topic and gain confidence. Teaching methods are vastly different at tuition centres and quite often children get confused. If the child studies at home everyday for 30 - 45 minutes, it is enough.

Children should not be compelled to write too many tests at least in K.G.and Primary classes.Tests could be conducted to find out how far they are able to remember what they have studied.In some schools they conduct every day tests and the parents never allow the child to be a child.Do you want to be one such parent?

Parental Supervision is a must for any child. But it should be done by the parents with a lot of understanding and maturity. Though Internet provides an opportunity for learning New things, it also has lot of dangerous material which (because of lack of discretion) addict, corrupt or damage a Child's Young Mind. Hence, in my opinion children STRICTLY should not be allowed to access internet in closed doors. Parent should provide such an ambiance without the child feeling that it is a restriction. Well.. I chose to be a little diplomatic.. i want my kids to use the net behind closed doors but at the same time I cant leave them at random in the world of adult and violent content. A lot of softwares are available for parental control.Try using any of them. A child can be allowed to use internet behind closing doors also, any situation arises it totally depends on the parent attitude in handling the situation. when the child browses, unwanted stuff keeps popping, if he / she goes through the content also its nothing wrong, but if he / she refers to you after going through is itself a great achievement , its not necessary that they have to do something only be closing doors ....its the values and upbringing comes to test .. Kids need to start using the internet. Why look at the wrong side of the coin. They can definitely benefit from a lot of good aspects.They should be allowed to use net behind closed doors.

If the teachers plan ahead their classes,students need not take the role of a "porter". Bags are getting heavier because the children end up carrying all the text books and notebooks related to a subject. For example, in English, there are three textbooks – the course book, work book and literature. As the teacher herself is not sure what she will be teaching for the day, the child ends up taking all the three textbooks for that one class. This happens with every subject. I feel that the subject teacher has to be clear in her mind on what she will be doing the next day. She has to set up a detailed time-table (perhaps on a weekly basis) and stick to that schedule. She should then inform the students about it so that they take only the relevant book for the day. Schools can follow a system where only a couple of subjects are taught in a day. In other words, more time can be allotted for one subject. This way there will be focused learning and school bags will never be heavy.In my experience, children grasp subjects better when the classes are not broken up unduly, distracting them just when they are getting to learn something. Such a method is also useful for slow learners and children with learning disabilities. In the long run, I feel that schools should go digital. Three months back, Kapil Sibal actually came up with a tablet for college students costing Rs 1500. But that did not work out. Still, this should be implemented even for the school students. Record lectures that can be downloaded into these tablets and the syllabus can also be online. There would be no need of books or bags then. We bring our books according to the timetable. Still our bags are heavy because the books are too big. We are asked to bring all the books in each subject. We also have to carry many assignment sheets and project works. I feel that schools can tell us to keep our heavy books in the classroom and give it to us during exam time or when a class test is to be conducted. I also think that E-books can be introduced in more schools. School bags are really becoming heavier. Schools can provide lockers for children starting from a specific class and the children should be taught to take care of their locker keys. The lower class children can be asked to keep their books in the desks allotted to them and the school should ensure that the books are safe. Children need to carry only the books they want to study at home. The schools should upgrade their security system so that nobody will touch the books or belongings of others. Bags should be eliminated totally for children, maybe except for water and food bags. Let the books remain in the school. Let them study while in school, and engage in outdoor and recreational activities after they are back from school. This will help enhance their creativity, and broaden their outlook. Some schools have lockers to keep books and workbooks. My child’s school has this concept of files and loose-leaf papers- so there is no carrying of multiple notebooks, or wastage of paper at the end of the year with few pages left in each notebook. Yes, school bags are getting heavier. Teachers can plan their sessions in advance and tell the students to carry only what is required for the next day. There are test books, revision books, class work note books, all of which can be kept at school. Only what is required can be given to the students to carry. Each student should have a separate school box in each classroom where they can keep their things which are not required for that evening at home. If there is a test or homework, only those books may be brought back. Alternately, separate shelves can be organized in all class rooms where the students can arrange their things - it will also cultivate in them a good habit and practice of maintaining their things independently.

Hi there, many a times kids fall prey to unnecessary peer pressure to surf those sites and they can take part in the hush hush conversations in class. Parenting control tools are an option.

No. Child will learn the use of money if we involve him/her frequently to do some purchases independently like Stationery, Grocery, Vegetables etc., Pocket Money involves a risk of Child taking a decision to spend the money on things which are not good, especially when the child's decision making skills are still in a developing stage. We children do not have many needs, other than some school items like stationery and text books. We do not require pocket money. 14 year old I feel that children are too young to handle money and no matter how much you teach them the importance of money, they will end up spending it on frivolous things. At this age, they will not understand the concept of saving. Their meaning of 'needs' and our meaning of the same thing is different. Once they grow old enough, they will automatically manage money. Mother of a 10 year old. I come from a world where each household had plenty of children and parents never believed in handing over any money to them. There were times when I used to yearn for a little money of my own,to feel the cash in my hands. It is better to give a little money to the children around the age of 8 or 10. It will make them feel important and worthy of the trust bestowed upon them by their parents. We can monitor the spending in subtle ways without breathing down their necks.The children will understand the value of money and how to spend it judiciously. Grand Mother of kids aged 8 and 9 Pocket money could be given as a fixed amount monthly depending on the lifestyle of the parents or on festive occasions like Diwali. It should be ‘earned’ by the child for doing simple chores at home or for being well mannered. Parents can discuss how it should be utilized by the child and monitor the spending. Father of a 5-year-old Pocket money should be saved more and spent less. We need to account for it, keep it safe and even inform our parents before spending it. We can give some of it in charity, for the welfare of poor children. 11 years We have an Rs.50 pocket money budget for my 9 year old. With this money, he plans his expenses meticulously and then tells us to pay budget excesses from the many gifts he gets from his aunts and uncles. But overall, it has been a useful exercise in understanding money and budgeting. Father of a 9 year old. I really like what ICICI Bank has done in its Young Star account, a separate animated section in their website/ e banking on the need for savings. It is an innovative and fun way of making the children realise the value of money and the importance of saving it. Father of a 8 year old. Yes, introducing children to money and making them realize the value of it is very essential from the age of 7. We can take decisions depending on the situation and give them little money to go and buy things from the nearby shop, introduce them to savings accounts in the bank, ask them to give money to vendors who come home and ask them to collect change etc. This will make them understand the value of money. Mother of a 8 year old. Maturity rather than age is the criteria. On the amount to be given, that depends on the parent. To teach children the value of money, give them small projects, relating to purchasing household groceries within a budget. Many parents introduce the concept of budget in relation to the teen’s lifestyle. This should not be the entry point to the subject. Once the household expense is handled, your child gets to know the value of money and the art of budgeting in a subtle way. The next step is to teach them to shop for small events, like a get-together by friends. Guide them whenever needed. A kiddy bank box is also a good idea to inculcate a savings habit. Father of three children aged 10 years, 7 years and 3 years.

I am psychologist. In the case of an 18 month child, he feels lonely while you are not with him. Its a normal reaction. I am a teacher handling children aged 3 to 6 years. Some times children pick up habits from their parents. I came across such a kid in my class and when discussed with the parents I found that the child's father in order to show his love and affection always used to bite him with his lips. So, the child whenever was excited and happy started biting other classmates. He stopped this after a while when his father changed his habit. Hi A lot of kids at that age pick up this habit. Almost as if they are "trying their hand" at a new way that elicts a response from the adults around. I suggest you ignore and distract the child, so he doesn't get the responsse he is looking for. Or you could try an exaggerated "Ouch that hurt!!" in a funny voice and make a game of it. Either way, the less importance you give it, the faster it will go away. And don't worry about it.! A child of 18 months beating mothers and others on seeing them after a gap of 8hours or so may mean that he has separation anxiety ,if the ability to communicate through words or simple sentence has not developed then he/she may resort to communicate through physical gesture.At 18 months the child cannot understand that what he cannot see still exists.He/she is merely expressing relief and maybe relieving anxiety by beating the loved ones. By telling him/her that this is wrong or bad or people may call him/her bad boy/girl does not make any sense to him.In any case parents should never club child and its behavior together and say you are a bad boy as you did this. Therefore all your child needs is lots of comfort and repeated assurance that you are around him ,try not to leave him for long hours.Encourage him to express feelings in more acceptable manner. Just try hugging him affectionately with a smile on your face every time he is attempting to beat. I think it is just a 'growing phase'. Present-day-Children need such expression of our love towards them more often.

For me, it is a combination of both. If you are too strict with the children, they might just pretend to listen to you as they fear they might be punished or get scolded. If you are too friendly, the students might take advantage of you and they may lose focus on their work. At times, you have to be strict with them when they get out of hand. Otherwise it is better to be friendly with them and explain things in a nice way so that they will listen and respond accordingly. The teachers should neither be too strict nor too friendly but be balanced in their approach. The teachers have to be strict when it comes to studies and homework; they have to make the children understand that studying is necessary. When it comes to helping out the student, they need to be friendly or else the children will not listen. They will start fearing the teacher and hate the subject. The teacher is supposed to be strict or friendly with her students according to their behaviour. Sometimes, when the class is going on, a child might whisper. The teacher immediately throws her chalk down and says, "If you know everything, I'll stop teaching." At the same time, if the children present a neat project or if the whole class gets good marks in the exam, she says, "This is the most wonderful set I've ever got!" I feel teachers should not be too friendly because the students take advantage of them. They shouldn't be too strict either because the child might be scared even at the sight of the teacher. A teacher who is friendly would find it easier to spot a student who is having difficulties in understanding the subject. Doubts can only be clarified if the teacher encourages the students to do so. We have all seen some teachers who are surrounded by students just after the class is over or during intervals. Those students are eager to interact with the teacher to understand various concepts; whereas there are teachers who will never be approached for clarification of doubts because he is a terror. If the objective of the teacher is to make the process of learning fun then he has to be friendly. Otherwise learning will become serious and boring. As a teacher with more than four decades of experience, I would definitely say that the present generation of teachers have to be both friendly and strict with the children. Children will feel more secure in a class where the teachers are both friendly and good disciplinarians at the same time. For us, it is a mix of both, though the balance is tilted more towards friendliness. We have to be friendly with our students because that is when they will truly understand what we are trying to teach them. Education and knowledge are two different things and we have to impart both to the students. We are responsible for making them good citizens. For a teacher, the student-teacher relationship is as important as a child-parent relationship is to the parent. Sure, when the student gets out of hand at times, we need to put a full stop to it by being a little strict. I believe that a friendly approach brings happiness to both the students and the teacher. They respect us and they are also more responsive when we are friends with them, rather than being strict with them. Their self-confidence is boosted. Depending on the situation and the student, we should first warn him a couple of times before becoming strict. I feel that the teachers have to be strict. The students will learn only if there is some discipline. By strict, I do not mean that they should have a cane in their hands, but impose rules wherever necessary so that the children do not lose their concentration in class. Teachers have to be lenient with the students. If they are strict, the students will always fear them. They will surely do their homework on time and study well, but only out of fear of punishment. If the teachers are friendly, the students will listen to them and get the correct perspective on a subject. Teachers have to be lenient with the students. If they are strict, the students will always fear them. They will surely do their homework on time and study well, but only out of fear of punishment. If the teachers are friendly, the students will listen to them and get the correct perspective on a subject.

I agree that the children are to be taught the skills of studying.Once you initiate him to learn and practice the skill of reading,he will read the lessons on his own and that will give him a confidence and there will be no fear to face the examinations. On the other hand if he is made to by-heart the question and answer,if he forgets one word he will not b able to write one sentence fully. Skills make the children more confident. If a child has not been given the skills to swim on seeing water the child runs away...... and child who knows how to swim runs towards the water. If the parents spend time giving the children the skills to handle text and reading......... what do u think will happen?

Mugging up and getting good marks will not help the child in the long run. The student should know to use or apply what he has learned.Most of them do not read the lesson but learn only the question and answers and as a result they do not enjoy or relish the lesson.so, when they join professional course they find it difficult to analyse what they have learned.This is not a healthy trend. Marks are a reflection of how much a child has memorised and not how much he has learnt. It is about how much they remember on the day of exam. It develops complexes among children, and encourages selective learning. The current grading system is very helpful, though it has not eliminated the problems listed above. Marks just quantify an evaluation component. It is the evaluation component that needs to be analysed in detail. Does it test the conceptual skills or the recall ability of the student? The evaluation needs to be objective and unbiased. If an examination consists of questions wherein one has to recall data, facts etc then this will encourage students to memorise rather than think. During my college days there was an evaluation component "Open book test” where the questions were meant to test our understanding rather than memory .These were never direct but application- oriented. We were forced to prepare for it by understanding the concepts, done through discussions, debates amongst the students. Hence it may be out of place to generalize that marks do not reflect performance. The type of questions determines evaluation of performance. Traditionally, we have always believed that high marks implied high intelligence. There has been a paradigm shift to this school of thought, thanks to the multitude of learning styles available today. ‘Holistic Development’, ‘Child Centered Learning’, ‘Activity Based Learning’ are all the buzz words, if you want to enroll a 3 year old in school. Though a move in the right direction, we must not ignore the merits of marks and examinations. In today’s competitive age, those few marks are what set the achievers apart from the rest. Therefore it becomes the vested responsibility of educational institutions and teachers to strive and strike a balance between the world of rote learning and the new world. Easier said than done!! If emphasis were placed on learning, then marks would automatically follow. Also the students would be able to apply their learning in their day to day lives & thus education would be more meaningful. Students would also achieve more by adapting to new situations which requires synthesising & applying their knowledge using higher levels of thinking. We have to be realistic in life. Marks matter a lot, maybe more than learning when we, the middle class, think of our children getting into a good college without paying huge capitation fees. I believe that getting marks overrides the need to learn. I am against mugging up to get high marks. I believe that answers should reflect understanding. I want to understand and apply what I studied in real life. I am very much against the prevailing systems which go by the percentage of marks a student gets. Schools and colleges should weigh a student by his/her overall development. Academic performance, sports, general knowledge, extra- curricular activities, service oriented activities like volunteering, NCC and NSS should be considered for admissions in colleges. A student can also be judged by how he applies his mind or reacts in a given situation. All said and done it is only the marks that matter in our system. If we have good marks, we get a chance to study in premier institutions which will fetch us good jobs. This is a cycle. Even if I have to go to the extent of mugging up and reproducing something to get high marks, I will do so.

I totally disagree with the lady's behavior.The child may be precious to her but that doesn't mean that he has the right to spoil others possessions.If the clothes are spoiled the other customers may not prefer them and that will pinch the shopkeepers sale.She is not going to pay the money for the damages caused by her son.She should have made the child understand the situation and act accordingly. Sometimes she might have supported the boy just to show her anger towards the grandfather!! This is not right at all. The mother should have tried to explain to the child first that this behaviour is not acceptable. The parent should have warned her that they will be told to leave the shop if she continued to behave like a brat. The parent should leave the shop if she continues. It is a simple lesson but necessary. Sometimes, the best behaved child might not be in a mood to listen. The parent has to become authoritative. Children need to be told that this or that is not ok. How will children learn otherwise? If parents do not lay down boundaries they have no business being a parent. I feel mothers are not thinking of the child but more about their embarrassment and defeat if they have to leave the shop. Keep yourself out of this equation. I have embarrassed my children many times by pulling up parents in public spaces for not stopping their child from misbehaving. I feel strongly about it. Definitely, the mother was not right. In the west, people don’t take kindly to such situations. The mother would have attracted dirty looks. In India, we are tolerant but it does not mean that we approve. Sometimes, a child's behaviour is beyond your control. In this particular case, the mother should have picked her up from the table and admonished her with words. If the child is allowed to misbehave she will never know what is not acceptable in public. Children should be taught to be sensitive to other people's disproval. She must know that what is allowed inside a house may not be possible outside. Parents should not wait for an embarrassing situation in which a third person ends up correcting their child. Grandparents are lot more sensitive to this kind of situation and should be allowed to deal with it. But they should not be mistaken by the parent. Children will be playful and run around. The mother should have brought a colouring book along to keep her occupied. Adults need to teach them how to behave. Yet, you also see adults behaving in an insensitive manner in public so where does that leave kids? That is why, we as etiquette trainers, counsel parents as well. The mother should convey to the child that this behaviour is not acceptable in public. But, it can be done in a smart way, instead of scolding her. She could convince the child that if she ran on the tables she might slip and fall and get hurt. I do not believe in teaching a child using negative language or shouting at her. There is a way of disciplining a child in a positive manner. This is not right at all. The mom should catch the child and make her sit down by her side. She needs to explain to the child that she is disturbing the others in the shop. It is these same kids who grow up and get out of control. Mothers cannot complain later. After all she was laughing when her daughter was creating havoc as a child. The grandfather cannot be expected to entertain the child, it is entirely the mother's call.

My daughter scored very highly in her board exams. My mother, who is an over- achiever herself, wanted her to pursue a professional course like medicine, engineering or architecture. But she chose to study psychology in a city college. My mother was disappointed in me for not pushing her to enroll into a professional degree course. I chose to allow her make her own decision for I strongly believe in giving her the freedom to choose. I don’t believe she has taken the easy way out because I see her struggling with loads of work in her psychology course as well. I am in a constant dilemma about how far to push my child. If I push him too much, I wonder if I am pressurising him. But, also where do I draw the line to make sure he doesn’t become too complacent and lazy? If you leave them on their own they will end up just watching television. I think you have to push them to study because there are so many distractions around these days. But, this can be done in a democratic, friendly manner. I think we need to identify the child’s interest. If they are interested in something, then you don’t have to push them at all. I find that if my daughter is given something that she likes to do like art, then I don’t have to push her at all. Kids also know when to act, they are selectively lazy. But, if parents act as good role models and follow what they preach, I believe this might help. I know a case in which a child blamed the parents for not pushing her into a professional degree course. The parents allowed her to make her own decision and she was swayed by her friends and enrolled into a humanities course. But, later she was unhappy and blamed her parents for not pushing her to do engineering. So, as parents we have to be careful, I think it is best to lay out the consequences of their decisions and then allow them to decide. They need to know what will happen if they take one path over the other. How much freedom do we give the child to decide on the extra-curricular activities they want to pursue? Sometimes it is confusing because they keep changing their minds. We need to take them to the point till they can zero in on their interest. After that they can make their own decision. You always have to draw boundaries so they don’t cross them and go overboard.

Chennai has a good balance of tradition and modernity. This is what I like most about living and raising our children in this city. My husband and I felt that in a fast-paced world dominated by technology and a rapidly changing value system, it is important to expose our children to the cultural and traditional side of India. Born and raised overseas, our children are not aware of Indian culture and heritage. We want them to respect the values that we Asians are known for. Chennai offers us a via media and provides us an opportunity to enjoy a modern lifestyle and at the same time be in touch with our culture and tradition. I do not want to bring up my child in any city other than Chennai. The city offers the opportunity to live a luxurious lifestyle together with a secure environment. People are typically concerned about their safety in a city. As compared to other cities such as New Delhi and Mumbai, Chennai is relatively safe. We can walk around our colony or visit the beach late evenings without any anxiety. My child plays with the children in our neighbourhood inside a fenced park situated near our house. We do not have to fret about her being run over by cars and two-wheelers. Chennai used to be an extremely good city to raise a child. But of late, a lot of unpleasant incidents occur on a daily basis. When I read the newspaper every morning, my anxiety level shoots up. I am concerned about my daughter in particular. Kidnappings and accidents add to the stress of raising my children in this city. If not for the good schools in Chennai, I would have moved back to our native place, Salem, three years ago. Our daughter and son-in-law work abroad and we take care of our seven- year-old grandson. Chennai was the obvious answer when I retired and had to decide on a place to relocate and raise our grandchild. We love the fact that we can provide a good environment for our grandson and that he can study in a good school even as my husband and I enjoy the cultural treats of the city. Just as in any other city, Chennai also has some good and bad. But I believe that there is more good than bad. People from different states flock to Chennai for several reasons. The opportunity to provide a good education for their children is one of them. This makes Chennai a far better place than other places in India. What we the police need is the cooperation of the people. The resident should take precautionary measures to ensure their own safety. The police may be around but we cannot focus our attention on every individual need. People should report troublesome incidents in their locality. Only then can we act and get rid of the bad elements in the city.